It was like she was talking to a brick wall. Pouring her heart out to this guy who just wasnt even there. I'm floored and my heart is aching for this woman that I had once swore to spend forever with. She showed me messages today actually, between us that when I read them it looked like it was someone else entirely. I was so caught up in my own pain that I checked out and checked out harder than I realized I did. The abandonment, the neglect, the lack of affection or love at all.
I drove off my best friend, I put this woman through hell being closed off. I was so gone I didnt even notice that she stopped wearing my ring for the last two months, while any other time I would've noticed before the day was even up. I love her to death and her kids, but due to jealousy, insecurities, and getting in my head, I lost sight of us, of our relationship, of our family, most importantly I lost sight of our friendship. Every detail hits home, and it hits home hard. Today I finally listened to this song and it killed me. She couldn't put into words to express how she felt so she sent me this song and told me to listen very carefully because it is how she felt and I didn't listen.
"ok", "I dont know what you want me to do about it", and "I dont have time for this right now". She tried telling me that this was us and I didn't listen. I beat her down with my words, accusations, name calling, and just coldness. It literally took me to that point before I finally realized she really did love me and wasn't stepping out like i thought. Flash forward a few weeks and we have a blow up and everything came crashing down. She asked me, do you see how I feel now, do you understand? To which I replied: " Yeah you're leaving me, so". I got to the part about the new friend at a cafe and stopped there.
I was so cold and just completely gone that I didn't even pay attention to it at all. My fiance sent me this as a last ditch effort to fix our relationship, to snap me out of whatever I was in.